You may be wondering why such a mundane food made it all the way to the end of this challenge. Why would I avoid crossing off a food that I can buy for five bucks at any local diner? Well, eggs Benedict is more or less a fancied-up version of an Egg McMuffin and the one thing that I hate more than anything else in the world is an Egg McMuffin.
When I was a kid, every summer my family and I would road trip up to Door County, Wisconsin. Before we even left town, the first thing we would do was pick up McDonald’s breakfasts and eat them in the car. The end result was me sitting in a car for five hours with the stench of stale Egg McMuffins in the air. Can somebody say “car sick?” Now, every time I as much as look at an Egg McMuffin, I am overcome with nausea.
Yesterday, I finally decided to conquer my fear of eggs Benedict. Dan and I headed to Cheesecake Factory for their Sunday brunch and, before I knew it, I had the world’s largest plate of food in front of me. The English muffin halves were overflowing with ham, Hollandaise sauce, and soft-boiled eggs. My first bite was surprisingly tasty. The Hollandaise was tangy and the ham was flavorful, but the whole thing was so rich and heavy that I very quickly started to feel ill. And once I got to the egg, it was all over. It was the most nauseating texture- spongy and gelatinous with a yolk that wasn’t as runny as it should have been. I think I lifted the egg to my mouth three times, but I could never get myself to eat it. At that point, the Egg McMuffin similarities were just too apparent, and I literally had to build a wall of hash browns in front of the eggs Benedict so I didn’t have to look at them anymore. I seriously thought I might vomit.
Meanwhile, I’m thinking to myself, “I have handled raw pig intestines, killed a live lobster, eaten sea urchin gonads, and traveled across the country to dine on roadkill, and a run-of-the-mill breakfast dish is making me want to puke my guts out?” But no matter how much I tried to snap myself out of it, it just didn’t happen. After doing some deep-breathing exercises and drinking lots of water, I still left the restaurant feeling horrendously ill. Thank God that Dan got a yummy smoked salmon platter and shared it with me; I needed something to get the McDonald’s breakfast taste out of my mouth.
I really did enjoy the first few bites of this, but after that, my psychosis got the better of me. I’m thoroughly ashamed that eggs and ham on an English muffin is enough to make me break down, but what can you do? Everybody has a weakness, and this appears to be mine.